An S&M Perspective of Life, Dominance and Submission

Pain

Sep 9, 2017|BDSM, Fears, Pain

The pain… The pain…

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So many complain about it, so many run away from it

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And some crave for it as if they need it to live

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Before we go deeper in its exploration, let’s start with the basics

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What is pain

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According to The International Association for the Study of Pain, “Pain is an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage”

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When the body feels pain, it knows something is wrong and acts in some way to make it stop

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But pain does not only come from external stimulus

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Some pains exist in the mind as well as in the body, sometimes much more painful than the physical ones

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As a baby, the first mechanism of defense is to cry, to let your progenitors know that something is not right

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Unfortunately it is the only way to communicate so every problem, from discomfort, hunger or pain get the same response, making it very hard for parents to know what to do

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That mechanism changes as we grow and we learn how to control ourselves

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Some become able to control the effects of pain on their mind, from diminishing the effects to fully ignoring it

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But the pain is still there, waiting for the open window to show its face

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Becoming an adult comes in many societies after an initiation ceremony, where one has to show his ability to be in control and endure, to prove to all the rest that he is strong and by demonstrating so, that he will become a valuable asset to his community

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In modern civilization, we have changed from the endurance to pain to just endurance and strength, through a series of sport trials or by the integration into the military or some force connected to it

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By demonstrating our ability to withstand the difficulties at work for the long hours and menial tasks or the long workouts at the gym

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Even if we change the method, the objective is still the same

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To prove that you are strong

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But as that replacement that seems like sugar, but tastes like nothing of the sort and just leaves us craving for the original, a part of our wiring desires to feel more

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The softness of fabrics does not seem to fit the ruggedness of the original animal that we were, fighting for life, feeling our heart beating harder, the focus of the hunt and the satisfaction of a challenge achieved

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Your conscious might say one thing but the subconscious asks for more

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There was a German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, who wrote

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Only great pain is the ultimate liberator of the spirit…. I doubt that such pain makes us ‘better’; but I know that it makes us more profound

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Pain is neither good or bad

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A beast capable of making us do things we could not imagine doing, showing us our abilities even if we doubt ourselves

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You may try do deny it but it is still a part of us