Some time ago I made this article for a Portuguese magazine where I was asked to write about bdsm to the general public

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Some adjustments were made in terms of the translation to fit this audience and complement it a bit

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And now, a bit of history

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The term fetish was born for the word “feitiço” (witchcraft in English)

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It is something that binds and dazzles the human mind, thanks to the supernatural powers that it holds

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There are those who are immune to its charms, but no one is indifferent to the impact they have over those that submit to them

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The power that fetish holds over people is diverse and relative, that go from despise and complete ignorance up to the full dependency on it

 

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One of the biggest engines of fetish is fashion, that dream making machine that works transforming images, colors and bodies into something that appeals to the buying of items that have little practical usage for our day-to-day life

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The term fashion can be applied to many things, such as clothing, shoes, make-up, furniture, amongst so many things, being divided by styles and epochs by many historians

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It can be used in the most generic sense as the description of the pattern that gave it origin (“it is fashion to hear hats”) as the prevalent pattern in a given moment in time (“it is the fashion”)

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Fashion and fetish have always been connected, being one the most presentable and socially accepted face of the other

 

 

Only when the object becomes something connected to sexuality does it stop being in society’s good graces and becomes a perversion

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I give out a simple example that will make it easy to connect both terms

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Let us imagine a pair of red shoes

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They are born from the imagination of a stylist from Prada

 

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They are drawn red, with round lines and high heel as high as possibly usable by a human being

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They are not drawn for it’s practicality on the work environment, but as an object that belong in this season’s catalog, for one specific theme

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Within this theme, a scenery is made where this object is presented

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A model and personality selected that fit in the mind of the stylist that thought of it

 

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And the parade begins

 

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Hundreds of flashes and cameras light up the set

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Scene, model and shoes become one and the dream is born

 

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A woman sees them on a magazine cover

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She sees the ensemble and imagines the moment recorded in the photo

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Walking through the sterile passerelle, watched by a million eyes

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Many people would be afraid of that moment, of facing the world capable of undressing them with a single look

 

 

But the one playing the part stands firm on her own two feet, projecting confidence, along with the idea that was on the mind of the one that drew it, presented on the empty canvas, as requested

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A woman in control, indifferent to those who look at her and desired because of it

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A connection is made between the woman that parades and the woman that sees the photo as the desire to become one is planted in fertile land

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And for that to happen a dress is needed or, if little money is left to buy it, then at least a pair of shoes

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She knows that the shoes are expensive and out of reach of all the rest

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Nevertheless if she saves enough over a couple of months they can be hers and that ethereal connection to the picture will be a physical one with the possession of the object

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With the correct amount of money in her matching bag, she heads off to the boutique

 

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Sitting on a velvet chair, she awaits for her desire to brought

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A man leans down, holding a small paper box

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From within, softly wrapped in silky paper comes a pair of red shoes

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She feels the subtle smell emanating from the set and in that moment she knows they will be hers

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Two hands place the shoe on her feet and the extasy of that relationship hits her mind

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She raises herself and walks on them

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Her walk changed as she placed them on as the posture of her entire body had to adapt for her to be able to wear it

 

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A veil was placed with a pair of shoes

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The dream became reality

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Many eyes will lower themselves to admire her shoes and they will identify them as present in the same photo that she saw

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The desire that those strange eyes set on the photo will now stumble upon her every time she wears them

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That power of attraction is hers now

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Up to this point we are within what the world of fashion offers

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The dark side begins when that same image is taken to the other extreme

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The same velvet chair, but a naked body sits on in

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An equally naked man puts that same shoe on her feet, sexually aroused as he does it

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She knows the power those shoes hold over that who submits

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And power given by him to the shoes are now for her use and abuse

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And that means that he is hers now

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He will do anything she wants in exchange for her to become the user of the shoes of his fantasy

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And she enjoys feeling that power

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The power to put men under her feet…

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Literally

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Everyone of us ends up, one way or another, to give power to objects and create our own fetishes, being those sexual or not

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That pair of sneakers used to beat the track record

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The gold wire with the coin for luck

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The special pen to write the contract of a lifetime.

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There are those who don’t enjoy this kind of pagan practice that people exhibit

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Nevertheless, we all need something to hold on to in our moment of need or something to motivate us in playing a specific part, born from something we saw or experienced in our past that has marked us permanently

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In this world full of rights and wrongs, we should have the freedom to be what we want

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If you like to wear red high heel shoes, to dress up in leather pants, to wear a chain on your neck or a cowboy hat in your head it does not matter, as long as that object does not stand in the way of what you want to do

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But always remember the distinction between living and living dependent of something

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To do sex with a cowboy hat may be fun as a gimmick, but to only do it with the cowboy hat can limit you in more ways than you can imagine

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To be free means to have options, so don’t limit yourself

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Because the most important thing is to live

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And be happy