Doubts
There are days where nothing seems to make sense
All the hopes lost, the equipment spread on the floor, the house messed up
So much effort in preparation
all those emotions lived and thrown to the trash by those that will never return
or wasted in those that are too far from their own comprehension
The room is displaced and dark and I am here
lost in my thoughts where no one can reach me
neither to praise nor to demonish me for what I do
Doubts are also there
I am also human
Questions come, as to what I do and why I should do it
If what I do is right or wrong
I may ask, but there is no one to answer me
My life would be simpler if I could think that way
But I know it is not so
The right things can be done for the wrong reasons
as the wrong things can be done for the right reasons
Some things need to be done
Both for me and for the ones that come to me
I do these things for my own selfish reasons, as those that come do them for their own
There is no mandate to be a slave once in a lifetime
no stamps to put on a book
or a grade to achieve
There is nothing that forces me to be a master for the same reasons
There is only our own desire to do it
I know of the beauty of those that hide in the shade
The small treasures buried there
The value gained from these encounters
I like seeing it
exploring it
developing it
And there is a place in my slaves’ lives to do so
There is too much effort in trying to logically justify why things are done instead of just accepting that people have different likes and needs
and that I am entitled to having my own
I will not blame myself for being who I am
And is part of my identity and will continue to be, even if I choose to ignore it
We are not machines
doing all the same
with the same bodies
eating the same food
dressing the same outfit
I accept myself in all aspects as well as my own path
If I don’t, who will
My faults and virtues are for you to evaluate under your own point of view, if you wish to spend your time with it
But feel free to keep them to yourself if you disagree
