Doubts

There are days where nothing seems to make sense

 

All the hopes lost, the equipment spread on the floor, the house messed up

 

 

 

So much effort in preparation

 

all those emotions lived and thrown to the trash by those that will never return

 

or wasted in those that are too far from their own comprehension

 

 

 

The room is displaced and dark and I am here

 

lost in my thoughts where no one can reach me

 

neither to praise nor to demonish me for what I do

 

 

Doubts are also there

 

I am also human

 

Questions come, as to what I do and why I should do it

 

If what I do is right or wrong

 

I may ask, but there is no one to answer me

 

My life would be simpler if I could think that way

 

 

But I know it is not so

 

 

The right things can be done for the wrong reasons

 

as the wrong things can be done for the right reasons

 

 

Some things need to be done

 

Both for me and for the ones that come to me

 

 

I do these things for my own selfish reasons, as those that come do them for their own

 

There is no mandate to be a slave once in a lifetime

 

no stamps to put on a book

 

or a grade to achieve

 

 

There is nothing that forces me to be a master for the same reasons

 

There is only our own desire to do it

 

I know of the beauty of those that hide in the shade

 

The small treasures buried there

 

The value gained from these encounters

 

 

I like seeing it

 

exploring it

 

developing it

 

And there is a place in my slaves’ lives to do so

 

There is too much effort in trying to logically justify why things are done instead of just accepting that people have different likes and needs

 

and that I am entitled to having my own

 

I will not blame myself for being who I am

 

 

And is part of my identity and will continue to be, even if I choose to ignore it

 

We are not machines

 

doing all the same

 

with the same bodies

 

eating the same food

 

dressing the same outfit

 

I accept myself in all aspects as well as my own path

 

If I don’t, who will

 

 

My faults and virtues are for you to evaluate under your own point of view, if you wish to spend your time with it

 

But feel free to keep them to yourself if you disagree

2020

Doubts

Perceptions

Humane

Fresh look

Trial discount

Footprint in the sand

Opportunity

The search

Lighting the switch

The genie

Wish list

Wishes

Is BDSM for me

One size fits all

Puppet on a string

Twist and turn

Letter from a slave

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